Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Oh, What Daddy’s Plastic Can Buy!

Now I don’t want to come off as one of those over- privileged, underappreciated rich girls because its not entirely true.  I am intimately aware of just how rich my family is, and I am also aware of how other people (most people in fact) are not so monetarily gifted.  However, appearances are sometimes necessary to uphold in order to avoid a later shit storm.  For example, if word got out that I stayed at a hotel in Michigan that was not owned by our “dear family friends” the Devons, I would never hear the end of it from my mother.  She would be terrified that I had insulted our “dear family friends,” and she would lose her discount on her yearly, month long stay, on some exotic island.

“Hi, are you checking in?” asked the desk clerk in a voice a little too cheery for 3am.

“Yes, I don’t have a reservation though.”

“That’s fine Miss Rossi, we have your usual suite available.  Will that be ok?” I was surprised that she knew me by name.  I had only been to that hotel once or twice in my life, and I had never seen this woman before. “I’ll have someone carry your bags for you.  Would you like some room service?”

“Yes, please” I was already hungry again, even though I was exhausted.  At least I didn’t have to carry my bags, the valet had moved them to the sidewalk for me and now some scrawny looking young man was putting them on a cart and leading me to my suite.  

“Don’t you need my credit card?” I asked the clerk.

“No, miss, everything is already on file, have a lovely evening, and let me know if there is anything I can do for you!” Her cheery talking was starting to give me a headache. I had never been to a hotel before, even with my parents, that didn’t require a credit card, or had kept our card “on file.” Whatever.

Once I got to the room I directed the bellboy where to put my bags, and then tipped him generously. Now it was time to get down to some serious business: food.

“I’ll have the crab cakes, the mac & cheese, garlic bread, the veggie omelet, black bean burger with fries, double chocolate cake, a strawberry milkshake, and the scrambled eggs with hash browns. Oh, and can you send up a bottle of ketchup?”

“You want the whole bottle, ma’am?”
“Yes, and some extra napkins”

“And you would like all of this at the same time, ma’am?


“Will anyone be joining you, or is one place setting sufficient?”

“I will be dining alone, thank you.” He probably thinks I am a fat cow, but somehow I’m ok with that.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Hello, Officer

As the RA washed her face I leaned against  the door frame, waiting. 

 I did not move when the RA came out of the bathroom and started half yelling for everyone to put their clothes on. 

 I did not move when she started handing out paper towels for people to clean themselves with. 

But I did move when I saw two officers walking down the hall towards me.  

I was exhausted and everything seemed to be moving in slow motion.  My head was throbbing, and my body felt strangely sore and unresponsive.  I tried to look like I was upset that my room was turned into a party and that I was far too innocent to be involved in any illegal activities.  I hoped I didn’t smell too much like vomit and alcohol, but then realized I was standing in close range to a cesspool of bodily fluids.  

The officers walked into the room, surveyed the scene, and called for back- up.  I don’t really remember what they said, but they asked everyone to line up outside the room against the wall.  I stood apart from everyone else, not wanting to be associated with these shenanigans.  One by one they began to cuff everyone, and more police officers showed up just in time to supply extra cuffs and zip ties.

 I moved closer to the RA hoping that would keep me from getting arrested.  It worked.

“Are you the one that discovered the scene?” asked the officer.


“Well I need to get a statement of what happened, maybe you can tell me what you saw when you came in the room?”

“Uh….ok…..” My brain struggled to form words, to remember the first part of the atrocity I had walked into.  I apologized, using my tiredness as an excuse. He nodded understandingly, and then looked at me suspiciously.

“Young lady, did you partake in any of the activities going on in that room tonight?”

I started thinking about drinking at the bar, throwing up on that douche bag, stumbling to the diner…..

“No, sir” 

“Good, now do you have another place you can stay tonight? I don’t think that room is fit for staying in tonight.” At that moment the RA barged in and said I could sleep in her room.  She had a sleeping bag I could use and sleep on the floor.  She sounded like a small child who had made her first friend.

“I live locally, so I’ll just go stay at my parents’ house tonight, officer.”  He seemed very satisfied with that response, but the RA looked visibly rejected, as if I had just vomited in her face too.

At that moment, I didn’t even care. Fuck the dorms.  Fuck Cary and her orgy.

I went in the room with some hesitation and a lot of breath holding.  I opened the window, pulled out an overpriced suitcase my parents bought me,  and began to pack all of my things into it; clothes, books, laptop, my secret stash of, uh, medicine, and some other essentials.  I was exhausted, nauseous from the smell, and too hung over to deal with this shit.

Fuck this, I’m going to the Four Seasons.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Eyes Wide Open

Once I got close enough to the door of the room I saw the lights were on and music was playing inside.  This immediately saddened me because it meant that Cary would be home.  I sighed and unlocked the door.
Inside the music was much louder, and the room was much warmer than it normally was.  There were 5 naked people, 3 girls and two guys, in various positions in the center of the room, performing various sexual acts, and no one noticed that I was there.  As I stepped forward my feet hit several beer cans and other empty bottles that used to contain alcohol, making lots of noise as they banged together.  There were lines of coke on my laptop, and various pills laid out on my dresser.  Everyone there looked pretty fucked up, too fucked up to notice I had walked in, or were they so into their sexcapade that they didn’t care? I took a step forward, once again bumping into more bottles and finally got close enough to Cary’s CD player to shut it off.  Cary looked up and said “Kristin!” and then just sat there, not bothering to move, even though there was some strange guys dick in her ass.  It was also then that I looked around the room and noticed a used condom on my bed, and some sweaty guy who left a wet ass print on my comforter when he got up to get his clothing.  

I stood there in shock.  I was not sure what to do.  And then one of the other girls, who had been sucking one of the guys cocks, made up my mind for me quite easily when she vomited a huge amount onto the floor a few feet from where I stood.

I’m usually not a tattle tale, but I’d had enough of Cary’s shit.  I pulled out my phone, snapped one picture of the overall scene I walked into, then  turned and stormed out of the room.  At this point Cary must have pulled the dick out of her ass because she was screaming after me, and I could hear the bottles clinking on the floor. I walked straight to the RA’s room.  Her door was open so I simply walked inside, gently grabbed her arm and told her she needed to come with me.  I must have looked serious because she put up no resistance as we glided down the hall, towards the sound of Cary still screaming my name over and over.

When I walked into the room with the RA everyone was still in their original places except Cary who was standing, naked and sweaty, at the door of the room.  I pushed past her, towing the RA behind me.  The girl that had vomited before I left was still vomiting. The puddle was now at least three feet wide, and widening each time she heaved.  Everyone was still naked and seemed unaware that anything was wrong.  Cary seemed to be the only one that was alarmed, even though she was just as seriously drugged up as the rest.  She moved around me, and in front of the RA; placing both her hands on the RA’s shoulders to steady herself.  With a lot of effort she managed speech and said, “I am sooo sorBLAAAAGGGHHHH!!!” Cary had projectile vomited all over the face and chest of the RA, who screamed and started trying to wipe the vomit off her face while Cary turned slightly and started vomiting on the floor next to the other girl.  The scent of vomit, stale alcohol, sweat, and sex juices had heavily permeated the air and it was getting hard to breathe.  I calmly turned, grabbed Cary’s towel from the bathroom and handed it to the RA, then I propped open the door to the room because the stench was so intense I thought I might vomit myself.  

After the RA wiped off her face she called the police.  Cary passed out before that phone call with her hair in the pool of vomit and naked, while the others just stayed where they were, also naked, staring with incredibly dilated pupils and a goofy grin on their faces, giggling every now and again.  

To be Continued…